Going away for an extended period of time and then going back to your hometown to live is quite frankly very strange. While I was away traveling for three years a lot has happened. I worked in many different countries for my accommodation and food- this allowed me to meet so many different people in a more behind the scenes kind of way. I learned so much during this time. I tried so many new things. Learned so much about myself and I fell in love.
All that changes a girl. When you come back home to your small town of 700 people things just don’t feel the same.
During this time home I heard it all- the names the snide comments behind my back and people straight up telling me I’ve lost my way. Well I’m here to tell you that isn’t true. Maybe from some people’s perspectives, but how I see it is this, I’ve grown. Now let me explain, the last few years I’ve been surrounded by people with different views, religions, backgrounds, sexual orientation and race. It’s been a lot different than the predominately white, heterosexual and christian small town I’ve grown up in. The time I’ve spent away surrounding myself with different people has made me realize that maybe we aren’t supposed to live in a bubble of people like us. Maybe we aren’t supposed to just blindly believe what our family tells us to be truth. Maybe we are supposed to grow and change.
I look back on my time traveling and think how scared and naive I was in the beginning. It’s sad to admit it but I used to be a person that would judge someone by those differences. That’s how I was raised. There was always an “us” and a “them”. But slowly I began to change. It wasn’t all right away. I started listening more when people talked about something I didn’t quite agree with or that went against my religion. I also stopped talking- that’s a big one. I shut up long enough to actually hear what these people were saying. I wasn’t hearing what I thought was wrong about their side- I wasn’t just waiting for my turn to talk. I shut up and I actually listened.
That’s when it happened. That’s when I realized how beautiful it is for people to have different thoughts, religions, sexualities and views. It’s what makes the world such an amazing place. It’s why my bucket list of places is ever growing. I want to see it all, not just places, but the different people of every region. My soul longs for this.
I think change is beautiful. When people tell me how different I am now to when they knew me I smile. I used to take offense. Now I see it as a compliment. Could you imagine if after we left high school we all just stopped learning about different things. I think that is where the problems and judgment comes in. If you aren’t challenging yourself how are you ever going to continue to learn? How are you ever going to grow?
I think it would be really sad to stay the same your whole life. It terrifies me.
My personal goal for the end of this year is to grow as much as I dang can. There is six months left! How are you going to take these next six months and challenge yourself? Maybe it’s taking that first step and actually listening when someone has a different opinion. After all Jesus hung out with the lepers and the whores. I don’t think he was there to judge them.
xoxo
Amber St Jean
Intuitive Souls 